Thursday, November 30, 2000

Time Ticks Slowly

So I went this morning to get my nails done. They look pretty spiffy. I like them. I think they may be a little too long because they are clicking way too much when i type.. :) oh well. I havent told my boyfriend that I got them done, so I want to see tomorrow, if he notices.. I wonder if he will like them!?

Today is our 8 month anniversary. I had totally almost forgotten. I knew, but it didnt click this morning. My boyfriend called me this morning and he's like, do you know what day it is? I am like, yea, Thursday, the day my creative writing portfolio is due. He's like, nope.. And I am like, Oh yea, it's the 30th, hee hee... And onto the next subject. I dont think we're really celebrating it. It's just going to be one of those, recognized days, but seriously, up to 6 months, celebrating is cool, but then it's stupid after that. Of course we'll celebrate our one year in March, but other than that, it's ridiculous, don't you think? Hey if he wants to get me something, he can more than help himself and go shopping :) I haven't gotten any flowers or even a card from him in ages. I miss that... :)

So I handed in my creative writing portfolio today. PHEW! That's one down, 3 to go... Gotta love creative arts. My painting portfolio is due tomorrow, and I have 95% of it done. I am working on my final painting right now, but I have to let it dry in order to continue on with it, so it's drying out. It's a self portrait. I got this girl in my other art class to draw it for me. All I wanted to do was paint it. I can't draw myself. Too impossible. Oh well. Work tonight was long. Really long! I couldn't believe how long it felt. I just wanted to get out of there and get home so I could finish my painting portfolio.

I got my mark for my Oral French Presentation that I did 2 weeks ago almost. It's worth 15% of our final mark. I got 13% from 15% that it's worth. So that's really good. I am happy my teacher was generous, because sometimes I really suck at speaking french, especially in front of a large group of people. You know?

6 more days of classes left.

Next Monday, Dec. 11th, I booked myself a "self-day". I am going to sit around and do nothing. Maybe I will rent a movie? Read? Clean up my room a bit, do laundry. Work on my scrapbook... SLEEP IN! I havent decided. But the number one thing on my list is a Watermelon Bubble Bath. That is a MUST! I have been dying to take one for ages now :) I miss just relaxing!! What's that?

I can't believe it's almost December. It's amazing. And the snow on the ground is sooo beautiful. I love watching the snow fall on my windows of my car while I am driving, and how they melt away. It's incredible... I can't wait to go skiing ;)

Anyhow, I am going to go check on my painting. Maybe I will write more later. We'll see.

Wednesday, November 29, 2000

Long Day

My cousin was over and we did her website. It's awesome, but I've totally neglected my work, even if my cousin did help me with some of my work while I was doing hers! I can't type long because I have to finish my Creative Writing Portfolio which is due tomorrow at 2pm! My friend from New Brunswick sent me a package today, it had some pretty awesome things in there. Gum, Kiwi lipbalm (MY FAVE), a journal, some candles, a picture frame, some christmas ornaments (even though I am Jewish they are adorable and i love them!), a gelly roller pen. And some other awesome things. I can't wait to mail her out her package, she's going to love it. It's always awesome to get packages in the mail! I swap packages with 3 friends, and another friend of mine is in the US British Virgin Islands teaching sailing for a year, so I decided that I will send her a package. (She can't get Canadian/American products down there such as Tampons, etc.) I think I am going to surprise her with it for Xmas :) I like surprising people.

I hadn't heard my boyfriend tell me that he loves me in almost two weeks, but tonight he said it. That totally made my day (besides getting the package of course) :) He says he is not the type of person who likes to share his emotions. He says that I should know that he loves me, and not to worry about it. But he doesn't feel it's necessary to remind me every "two minutes" (for example) that he loves me. I guess that's understandable. To a certain extent. I am sure, and I hope that all that does pass over and things get back to normal. It's just stress at work for him and I think that's bothering him... both his parents are back at home, recovering, so that's good :) Incase you're unaware his mom had breast cancer, and his dad had a quadruple bypass. So it's work and hockey, his family and then me. Sometimes I feel like a 5th priority and I hate it.

Here's the map out...
1) work
2) kids hockey (that he coaches)
3) youth hockey (that he plays)
4) his parents
5) then if i am lucky me...

It's annoying, but whatever. I should be up there equally with all the others not as a fifth. And that's how I feel. Am I wrong to feel this way? Please let me know. But things should get back to normal, I hope soon.. Tomorrow's our 8 month anniversary. We don't celebrate them really anymore. We celebrated the first 6 and then it's like, why celebrate each month, that's annoying.

Anyhow, so we'll celebrate one year when it comes up in March :) That sounds like a plan... Tomorrow morning I am going to get my acrylic french manicure done. I used to get them done but it was getting ridiculously expensive. But I just found a place that is better in price, so I am going to check that out tomorrow morning. I will let you know how they turn out. Going to jet.

Cute Conversations With 3 Year Olds

Today's a complete change from yesterday!!!

Sometimes I get these wild urges to write and sometimes I just dont like to write at all. And I've totally been neglecting my other journal, you know the one with paper.. paper? what's that!! Just kidding. Anyhow, tomorrow I am meeting up with a friend from OD. I am so excited to meet her. We go to the same college and I went to this meeting for a literary club that she's in charge of (I think) and we didn't really meet meet, but we've met. It's weird. So technically tomorrow, we are re-meeting. That should be cool. I was surfing the Od site and came across her site and we started talking. We put two and two together and I realized that I had seen her before. She's a really nice girl!

I had my Creative Writing Class today, my teacher's on crack I swear. We had fun in class today. There's this thing on Monday, a reading for our class. I can't decide whether I am going to attend it or not, and if I attend it, there is another decision of whether or not I read any of my work. Now, if I want to be a writer (if that'll ever happen...) then I should read my work and "get known" even if it's in the little community of my classmates and their friends. I dont know what I am talking about right now! Forgive me. I promised myself that I would only let myself stay on the net for 15 more minutes from now. I have so much school work to take care of, it's unbelievable.

I went to my boyfriend's house for dinner this evening and just got home from there. While there, my boyfriend's sister (whom I will call Elle) (who got married and moved onto my street! {before i even met my boyfriend! and before I even knew who she was!} and she told me that her friend's 3 year old daughter (who had visited my house this summer to come swimming in my backyard) was inquiring about me. Me? I can't believe that she even remembered me! She's three years old! The little girl Abbie told Elle that she wanted to see me. Elle told Abbie that I was in school and that I couldnt come over to their house. Abbie started with Elle and said she wanted to see me now. She was all upset over it! How cute! So Elle promised that I would call later and that when I was out of school for vacation time (she understands vacation time because her dad gets vacation time from work and it's a "happy" time - the things they tell kids these days i tell ya!) that I would come over and play. Anyhow, Elle gave me their phone number and I called to talk to Abbie. Abbie was so cute on the phone. Here was our phone conversation. It was so cute, I had to type it out for you!

Me; Hi Abbie, how are you?
Abbie; I am good today.
Me; That is good to hear. How is your baby sister, you taking good care of her?
Abbie; Yes I am! I am a big sister. Baby just went pee. When are you coming over to play?
Me; I am in school now. When I get out for vacation time I promise you that I will come over and play. Is that ok with you?
Abbie; I like vacation time. I go to school with you?
Me; You want to come to school with me? I go to a big people's school. You would find that boring.
Abbie; But I go to school with you, tomorrow?
Me; I dont think your mommy would let. Do you go to school Abbie?
Abbie; I go to school with you.
Me; Okay Abbie, pass me back to your mommy. I promise you that on vacation time I will come and visit.

It was the cutest conversation that I had ever had. I was giggling almost the whole entire time. It was one of those you had to be there moments, I guess. Abbie did the outgoing message on their answering machine. It says... "Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, who let the sheeps out, baah, baah, who let the sheeps out, baah, baah (said by abbie, then her dad comes on and says) as you can see Abbie is entertaining her new sister, leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can!" or something to that effect with the ending. how adorable, eh? Just the cutest...

My cousin is coming over tomorrow night so that I can do her homework for her. Man, what a pissoff. The last time I did (putting her project onto a free internet site like angelfire or expage) she bought me a present, kind of as a token of her appreciation. I dont even remember how to do it anymore. Man, I havent used HTLM or the likings of that in ages. Maybe I will use the program Front Page so that it will transform it into HTML for me so that I dont have to do any work! Lazy me. I am going to have to go digging for my computer book from last year. I think I should still have it. Oh well.

Anyhow, more work to go and do. Maybe I will be in a typing mood tomorrow. I am done for the day. I am not even answering any emails in my inbox that are more than 1k. That's how lazy I am today. Since I missed spaghetti (my fave meal) tonight for dinner, I am going to go see if there is any leftovers. I am totally craving it! MMMmmm... dinner at my boyfriend's tonight wasnt so bad to begin with anyhow..

I Feel So Bad

It's 12:34 pm now and I finally feel asleep this morning at about 6:30 am around. I feel so bad because I missed my morning class (dance workshop - not the end of the world) but I also missed meeting my new friend. I was passed out in another world! I hope she can forgive me! I don't even know why I had problems sleeping last night, I just couldn't get to sleep! Has that ever happened to you? The last time that happened to me, was back in June and the time before that was the June before, I remember (it was the night before my 18th birthday that time) So that's three times in the past year and a half, should I be worried?

Anyhow, so I get up just now, and emailed my friend that I was supposed to meet. I hope she forgives me. I went to check the mail, I don't think the mailman has come today yet. And then, I hear loud noises coming from the den, couldn't figure out what the commotion was all about. So I went to check it out. My dad's home from work, working out on the treadmill (something I HAVE TO DO OVER WINTER BREAK) and watching some action movie really loudly on our tv. I have no idea if this is a daily thing, or something he started today. I guess I will ask him later since I am so curious. Well, I want to go finish working on homework. This time I am really going to get around to doing it.

4:37 a.m. Blues

I don't know why I can't sleep. I've tried, and it isn't getting me anywhere... I've been catching up on my television shows that I've been taping. (Gilmore Girls from the past 2 weeks, boy am I behind! ER from last Thursday, also Will & Grace and Monday night television on CTV... I don't know why I can't get to sleep, but I have to be awake in about an hour and a half anyhow, so there's no point to go to bed now anyhow. I don't know how I am going to make it through my 8:30 am dance class without any sleep and my portfolio is due on Thursday, AHHH! I am under control. I am under control... I think! I don't know why I can't get to sleep. I am wondering if I should just skip my first class, sleep in and get some work done, and then eventually make it to my 4pm class. But then I am going to have to cancel on my new friend that I am meeting in the morning and I don't want to do that! I really want to chill with her. But I can't sleep. Oy, why does this always happen to me? The last time I couldn't get to sleep was back in June I think. I remember, it was a friday night. I was up all night, and then my boyfriend left for the golf course and paged me. Boy, why do I remember things like that, but I can't remember other important things.. Life DOES work in weird ways.

Ok, this 4, almost 5 am talk is getting to me. I am not wired or anything and I am not a coffee drinker, so I can't figure out why I am like this. No clue. My sleeping habits lately have been weird.

Well, I don't have much else to say right now. Just that I am going to go crazy if I don't go to bed til late tonight. Thursday morning I am definitely SLEEPING in! hopefully I will be able to get to bed then!

My Baby Sis-tah... My Driving Brother...

My baby sister, well, she isn't a baby anymore. It's almost her 16th birthday (in 3 weeks about) and she's growing up before my very own eyes. NOT FAIR! My 17 year old brother just got his license on November 7th, gosh, I can't believe how old he's gotten too! But my BABY sister started on Monday night her theory for her driving permit test. You see you can start that course 3 weeks before your 16th birthday so that on your 16th birthday (in the province of Quebec that is) you can go take the written (computerized) test for your permit. Then after you get that you must take 12 hours (not all at once) of lessons with an instructor from your driving school. If you take it with a driving you school, you may go for your license (road test) 8 months after you get your permit *used to be only 3 months!* And if you dont go to a driving school and you get your parents to show you how to drive, you can only go for your license a year after you get your permit. Ridiculous! And once you get your license, it's not your full license. It's your probationary license. Which means, you only have 4 demerit points you can lose (rolling through a stop sign will lose you 3 points right there...) and you can't have any alcohol in your system. Once you get your full license, (after 2 years of driving from the day you get your probationary license, regardless if you drive or not!) you get 15 demerit points, and you can have under .08% alcohol in your blood, which is actually nothing. Anyhow, if you have your full license, you can take someone out on the road who just has their permit. Permit people can't drive alone... Just wanted to bring you up to date, if you aren't from the lovely Province of Quebec, all about our driving laws. It's only on my mind because my baby sister just started her theory lessons. Fuck am I getting old! Another thing to go along with our dementing driving issues, our schooling system.. let me briefly tell you all about it!!!! Elementary School is Kindergarten to Grade Six High School is Grade Seven to Grade Eleven Then you Go off to College... and then University, or which ever one you prefer...

It's 2 am. I want to get to bed, but I can't sleep. I am not tired. Don't know why... Weird. I am going to go force myself to go to sleep

Monday, November 27, 2000

Voting, Chasing & Better Spirits

I will be online almost all night, bad me! It's my routine when I dont have anything else to do. I never ever get any work done while I am at home! Well tonight I am going to try, because I want to see if I can get my creative writing portfolio in tomorow instead of in on thursday when it's really due. I don't want to have to think about it any longer. You know that feeling?? I've got other school assignments on my mind! Argh! Damn ass school. So where to start. First school, yes, ahhhh! Well my teacher has totally pissed me off. I went and tried to prepare my essay as an oral for her, and she turned on me and totally changed my question. My outlook on that totally changed. I hate her even more now, but I am going to stick out the last three classes I have with her and that's the end of that. All I want in this class is a 60%, so that I can pass it and not have to take something else to make up the mark next semester. I don't know what I am going to do about that assignment. Well since it's one of the last few things due, I am leaving it to one of the last few things I need to do. I have other things due before and I need a break from that or I may actually breakdown!

What's next... Oh, yeah, on my way home, I am listening to the news, and there's this broadcast, about a high speed chase, going the wrong way of traffic, heading right towards me... that was interesting. I caught a glimps of it, but I had to turn off to get to where I was going... to vote.

Voting, ah ha ha.... Yea, so I get there and there are LONG line ups. I was like no way in heck I am staying. But thank goodness the line up for where I had to stand to vote (by last name) wasnt so long. Anyhow, so I am standing there listening to my walkman. This lady comes over to me and tells me I am not allowed using electronics in the voting area... BULLSHIT MY ASS! So, I say to her, very loudly, so that other people can hear, because she was really starting to piss me off, (and I didnt want to be there to begin with) "RIGHT, LIKE THE BACKSTREET BOYS ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHO TO VOTE FOR." I wasn't even listening to the Backstreet Boys, but it was the only thing on the top of my head that she would understand, that I could think of! Right, like she knows who Eminem is!! Ha ha, I got that comment from my boyfriend. He was pre-voting...and his cell phone rang. It was one of the kids he coaches or something like that, to find out when one of the practices were at. And so, the grumpy old man there, was telling my boyfriend to get off his cell phone. So he opened his mouth (he likes to do that when he doesnt get his way!) and said, "What, a 10 year old kid is going to tell me who I am voting for?" The man shut up. It was pre-voting anyhow. There wasn't really anyone there anyhow. Ridiculous I tell you. It's just funny that something like that would stick in my mind, and when I would need a comeback, I had one to use. Usually when I need a comeback, I don't have one. It's funny!

So onto the boyfriend situation from earlier. We're cool. I don't know how or why, things just worked itself out in the end. It seems to usually become like that. I am going to see him tomorrow after school. I usually dont see him as much as I saw him this weekend and I try to get some space and time to myself as well. Just like I like to give him space, too. Anyhow, so Friday night, he's coming over to my place this time, and I don't know what we're doing, yet, but I know that I want to make him dinner and I want to surprise him with I DONT KNOW WHAT!!!

Well I am totally craving a grilled cheese sandwich. So I am going to attempt to go an make one.


I was talking to my cousin just before and she think that I must have made that comment to my boyfriend's mother. BUT I DIDNT SAY THAT COMMENT... and that is why I am so mad and upset! I NEVER said to his mother that he was BASHING my family... (If you're confused read one of my last entries) I don’t understand how people can twist words that are coming from another person's mouth. I am sooo feckin' frustrated, I think I am going to have a breakdown. I am sitting here in the lab at school ready to cry. I hate what's going on. It's stupidness. I am so agitated right now, it's unbelievable. Now I don’t know if my boyfriend’s mother is starting to not like me anymore, and is starting to cause shit between her son and I, or if she honestly misheard something I said. (I honestly don't think she hates me. She has no reason to! I have been there for her son and her and her entire family, and I am always there to lend a hand.) But I don’t understand why this is happening to me. What a mess! Why me...

I realized something else just before. As far as the kissing issue between my boyfriend and I. I don't know what it is.. All I know is that he doesn't kiss me as much anymore just like that. He barely tells me that he loves me either (even though I know he does) *tear; now I am really starting to break down. He tells me over again that he's not one to show his emotions. But he was able to at the beginning of our relationship? In the end, if this keeps up and he doesn't change or even improve in the slightest way, I am going to set him free. They say that if you truly love someone, set them free and if they come back to you then it was meant to be. Well I just realized that, and I am starting to think that I should let him be the one who comes to me. If I am always the one going to him, then he is going to think that I am suffocating him or something. Do you know what I mean? And I don't want to be one of those kinds of girlfriends. Anyhow, I don't know what to do! It's eating away at me, however, he's the love of my life and the good does outweigh the bad. And heck, as someone mentioned to me the other day, he's putting up with me and my faults as well. Our relationship is definitely not what it used to be, and I don't know how to get it back to that place. I don't know how to even get him back interested, bring the spark back, you know?

I am going to attempt to do school work!

Sunday, November 26, 2000

Any Given Sunday

I have my usual routine. I go to work, I come home, eat dinner and do laundry and attempt to do homework (that part rarely happens). But this weekend I decided to go ahead and work on Saturday instead of Sunday because this morning my boyfriend and I attended his friend's engagement party. And then I went and watched him coach hockey. (that was interesting because i had never seen him coach before, and there is a kid on the team that has 2 mothers, and it's cute, them being together cheering their son on, holding hands ;)

Anyhow I went out of my way to rearrange my schedule so I can make it work for my boyfriend and his plans... So I went along with all that today. And then, when my dad calls my cell and tells me that my family plus his best friends family are going out for dinner, and that I am expected to be there, would my boyfriend like to come along? Well as soon as I got off the phone, I asked my boyfriend and he's like no, I am tired. I just want to go home and relax in bed. I was fumming at that point. Didnt let it show though. It's amazing, that he can do what suits him best, but when I ask him to come out with my family or whatnot, he's got other things he needs to do. This has happened once or twice before. Anyhow, it's not as if he hates my family or something. He was at my sister's sweet 16 birthday bash last weekend and he's over at my house sometimes too. I dont know what's gotten into him lately. I love him to pieces, yes, but sometimes he drives me crazy. It's nuts... but I love him.

And that's what it results in..

Otherwise dinner with my family and dad's friends family was fun. My 17 year old brother tried picking up the 20something year old waitress, that was definitely cute. My dad's friends 3 year old son had everyone awwwing over him, he's adorable. He definitely won the heart of the our waitress whom my brother was still trying to pick up. And my dad and his friend were glued to the Satelite screen watching the Grey Cup..

Anyhow, it's 11:40pm right now. I want to head to bed. I have laundry waiting for me downstairs, I havent taken out my contact lenses yet and argh! So much to feckin' do!

Tomorrow I get to use my right to vote for my first time. The first election in a while, since I've been legal.

Morning Blues

You know what I find hilarious? The way a story can and will get twisted. I made a comment to my boyfriends mother last night about how he's always sleeping and tired when it's me that has plans. Remember my entry from yesterday? (If not, please read to understand).

Anyhow, so she twisted some of my words, unless she just didnt hear me correctly in the first place. Then when I am speaking to my boyfriend this morning from my car on my way to school, I asked him, (I dont know why) if he's upset with me at all for my behaviors yesterday. Which wasnt so bad to begin with. Anyhow, He's like, no, why would I be? And then I am like, oh, ok, just making sure, and then he says, but there's something else I wish to discuss with you later. Not now. I hate that. That's one of my pet peeves. If you're going to start you might as well finish, because then you leave the person wondering in suspense all day, and that would just ruin my entire day. You know what I mean? So then he tells me that his mother told him that I told her that I said he bashes my family. When that's NO WHERE NEAR WHAT I SAID to begin with!!! I actually mentioned in passing, that I was upset that whenever I have plans for dinner with my family, he is always busy or tired and never comes out with us for dinner. And it was just shocking because it was one of his fave restaurants that we were going to last night..... oh boy! Why would he bash my family? He gets along great with my family. They all have inside jokes and whatnot with one another. It's cute. Anyhow, you know what else pisses me off? Whenever we see each other, he never really kisses me anymore, besides when we are fooling around, or whatnot. He's still doing the hand holding in public and when we're cuddling, but as far as giving me a kiss once and a while, nope.. We were together all day yesterday, and we did not kiss EVEN ONCE! And that bothers me.

So now I dont know whether I should say something to his mom or not. I dont know. I want to, but then he may get mad at me if I do? So right now I am going to leave it be. I mean, I could email her, but if I say something about that I will do it on the phone, I think that's better. Maybe later I will call his house to see what's doing, and how everyone is feeling. Then mention it in passing??

I have another one of my 6 hour breaks at school today. I dont know whether I should go home and try and stick out the 6 hours at school. I guess I will decide before the end of my 8:30 am dance class. It's 8:24 am now and I am going to head to class in a few. This girl was complaining to her friend this morning on the escalators in school ( I was right behind her), that she got ripped of at McDonalds on a coffee. And she was yacking, and yacking, and complaining and complaining.. Hey, she didnt have to buy it if she didnt want to... Grr. People who bitch like that really bother me... I hope when I bitch about other things I dont sound like that!! Gotta jet to class, Later!

Saturday, November 25, 2000

Car Curfew???

So I went out with the boyfriend last night for one of his friend's birthdays. We ended up at this bar called Tokyos. It's great living in a Province where the legal age is 18! Anyhow, my mom paged me while we were out there and told me that my car has a curfew. What the heck? I didnt have a curfew, but my car apparently did... Have you ever had a car curfew? How ridiculous does that sound??? Anyhow, being the good daughter that I am, I obeyed, but that meant leaving the bar early, and going back to my boyfriend's house to get my car, to make my 30 minute treck home by 1 am... all because I am working today, that's where I am at now.

My mom doesnt like to give out the car to people who havent gotten enough sleep, because an accident can occur if you're tired at the wheel. And you know what? That is totally understandable as I will probably be the same way with my kids one day in the future. Whenever that may be.

Men out there are pigs, and I will tell you why... Even though I was with my boyfriend last night, I had guys hitting on me left and right.

Anyhow, but they just come over and start winding with you and whatnot, I had one guy grab my butt, and two other guys trying to buy me drinks and all that jazz. But the funniest thing is, that I am with my boyfriend, yet they still try and pick you up...PIGS, PIGS, PIGS (but not all of you, dont worry!)

Well, I've got to get going.

Friday, November 24, 2000

Weird People Out There

The Stress.. Finally only 2 weeks left of school. I can feel the weight on my shoulders. Have you ever felt that? It's like darkening my aura. I was very snappy to a friend this morning, and I probably should not have been. I can feel the stress, and it's killing me. There is so much else going on around that stress as well, it's unbelievable.

Anyhow, my hotmail account, not the one created for this account, my other one, has been corrupted. A virus apparently was sent to it, and I can't even get into it... Oh, whatever. I am ticked off with hotmail anyhow. I hate them. Damn free service. Screwing over people royally. It's not the first time I've had to change accounts. I was getting so much trash mail in one account, it was ridiculous. I hate that.

Then there was an incident about 2 months ago, where someone changed my password to my hotmail account on me, and started sending out emails to my friends and family. He or She or They sent out a really disgusting email saying it was me, and that I am this and I am that (and this and that weren't nice words.. Not at all..) It makes me wonder if people out there seriously have too much time on their hands. Anyhow, so I am looking for a new server to create an account with. A free server that I can check my mail from anywhere. You know? Like hotmail but better.. And I dont know why, but I hate yahoo mail... No reason.. I have never created an account there and I never plan to.. I just dont like it. Don't know why. Just dont.

I am over at my boyfriend's house. Still pondering on a "nickname" to call him on here.. And of course, he's sleeping. I still promise you that I will explain his sleeping habits one of these days... So you know what I am talking about. He's stubborn about that. Anyhow, I am going to jet, I have some work to do before dinner and before we go out for my boyfriend's friends birthday. Downtown drinking. Fun, fun... Later! (I will write more when I get in!)

Thursday, November 23, 2000

Weird Dreams

* 4 Dance classes left
* 3 Art Literature classes left (incl. tomorrow's class)
* 2 Painting classes left
* 2 Creative Writing classes left
* 4 Autobiography classes left
Plus one French Exam on December 12th, 2000

So that's that!! I can’t wait to get the heck out of school for this semester. I am going insane with the amount of work I am doing. It's a bugger, really! I've completely got writer's block and I can’t seem to get help online at all. I've been searching for ideas but I am guessing that I am going to the wrong places. And I still need major help on my Angela's Ashes paper as that is driving me insane. I feel as though there isn’t enough hours in the day, BUT I can’t cut things like writing in my online diary out, because that is what's keeping me sane for now. I don’t know why I didn’t know of this program sooner. That would have been good.

I went to work tonight, but I don’t know how I managed. I had fun though, talking with the other cashier. She's nice. Her boyfriend bought her the nicest watch for her birthday, which was last week. She even got him this cute little teddy bear type stuffed animal; you know one of those little noting gifts, right?

Anyhow, I still do little cute things like that with my boyfriend (whom I am still pondering on a nickname to use for him on here, any ideas? :) and he doesn’t really do that anymore.. I don’t know what happened. But I still like the little nothing gifts, you know those? The "I thought it was cute and it was there in the store, and I thought you'd like to have it.." I MISS THOSE!!! And I hint to him all the time things like that but sometimes he just doesn’t get the picture. I don’t know what's wrong with him!!! It's either he's busy or he's sleeping, and boy will I get into that later with you. Anyhow, I will save that for another entry, don’t you worry! But I still love him with all my heart. (*ELEPHANT SHOE*)

Can't Find What I Need

Been going nuts looking for a pair of scissors everywhere cant find a single pair. I don’t know where they all disappeared to?

I went babysitting this evening for the kids across the road from me, and made 20$. Gotta love making money to sit on people's computers and tie up their phone lines by using the Internet. I also watched some TV, made some phone calls and catched up on some schoolwork. And made 20$ buckaroos (Canadian) while I was at it!! Gotta love that.

I was informed on Monday, I guess I missed the message that I got on the next free trip to Israel. It's taking place February 11-22, 2000 and my cousin J is also going on that trip. She also excited. I called her this evening to find out what trip she was on but she was half asleep so I mentioned that I would call her back tomorrow night. With the situation in Israel, I don’t think I am going to be attending this trip. Maybe I will see if I can trade in my spot for the trip after that one. Hopefully it won’t conflict with school at that point. The trip is basically opened to anyone between the ages of 18-26 whom have never been to Israel before. So I applied. And didn’t get on the winter break trip this December but I cant believe I made it on to this trip! That is awesome!! We'll see we'll see...

I got my film back from the photo lab today. I have 3 nice rolls of film now. I can't believe it cost me 27$ and change (Canadian) to developed 3 rolls of film getting quadruple copies. (My mom and sister and boyfriend all want/get copies!!) I make my boyfriend a scrapbook every so often and I was waiting for the pictures from my sister's Sweet 16 to finish off his scrapbook. I am going to work on my scrapbook over the winter break from school. I can’t wait to get out of school.

I have so much that I have to do over winter break, it's not funny. I want to *develop my black and white film and make use of my darkroom *Read the long list of books that I have on my shelf and pick up the books that I don’t have yet, but should *Start and finish my scrapbook *Update my website which is currently pretty much non-existent *Work extra hours and make tons of money *Rent movies I neglected to see and watch them. I am still DYING to see Stuart Little (I like the actor Jonathan Lipniki, ain't he adorable??)

So I went into the other Wal-Mart today near where I park my car to go to school. I went to the other one by me last night with my sister. They didn't have what I wanted at both Wal-Mart’s. But last night I ended up spending 56$ (Canadian) on 12 rolls of film and a new hairbrush, which I tested out today and works rather nicely.

I showered today while at my boyfriend's house on my 6-hour break from school. I find it took cold to hang around school anymore. BBRRRR!

I wore three layers to school today. A long sleeve baby-tee type shirt, my old navy sweater and my fleece sweatshirt. I look like a snowman, but at least I was comfy during my 4pm class today, and not freezing cold. I went and saw my teacher today for my autobiography class. I think I am understanding the work more clearly now. I like that. It's better that way. If you go see the teacher, they think you are really trying to put your all 110% into their work/assignment and therefore you will get a better mark. IT'S ALL P.R. and how you go about doing it!! I learned that on Monday :) Can't remember how or what or so forth....

So at Wal-Mart I purchased some more Crayola Crayon Project Glue. That stuff is the best stuff in the world. Works like a charm. It's been holding together all my collage work for my Art Literature Class.. I can’t wait for school to be over, I can’t emphasize that enough!!!!! I also picked up a Kiwi Lip gloss. Kiwi is my all time fave, MMMMMM! The best stuff in the world. The best is Kiwi Lip smackers, but UNFORTUNATELY one cant buy Kiwi Lip smackers in solo packs anymore. You can only get it in packs of 3 with Mango and another flavour, something fruity, but mixed fruity, as well. But what I bought wasn’t a lip smacker, it was something else. Oh well. I was going to buy a new book but I realized that I have so many books to read at home already, that the book would have to wait. Oh well. There is a book sale going on at school in the basement near our lockers. I am so tempted to buy like 4-5 books because they are all at good prices. Which is good cuz then I can afford them. There is one that I have had my eye on all week. I think I am going to purchase it tomorrow. I also, got this new Hair streaking' kit by Feria. My sister's friend Josh, who is also a friend of mine, is coming over tomorrow to help me highlight my hair. He's 2 yrs older than my sister and a year and a half younger than me. He's a nice guy. We're going to do lunch together too. Sounds like a plan.

I am so bored with my hair; it's about time I made a change! It's about time! I will let you know how that turns out, but I am so not worried :)

I was talking to a married friend this evening. I am such a dreamer. I can’t wait to get that rock on my finger. :) I’ve been dreaming of my wedding since I was 6 yrs old. I have my entire wedding almost all mapped out. I just hope that I find that special someone. I am currently sooooo happy in my current relationship. My guy totally makes me happy. I still don’t have a name for him, and I am going to sleep on it I guess and decide when I really have to, on a name to call him. Right now he will simply be "the boyfriend" "my boyfriend" etc, to you... Any suggestions on names? Anyhow, I think that's all I want to say for now. It's 1:57 am and I want to hop into my cozy bed.. MMMM, sweet dreaming.

Tuesday, November 21, 2000

~wRiTeR's bLoCk~

First there's the mess on the expressways in my city. The freakin' construction they are doing in my area, it's unbelievable... I hate it!!! I really do hate it. Traffic jams up and I hate traffic with a passion, who does?

Anyhow, so I was late to school today, no biggy. That doesn't matter at all. The class that I had, the teacher is cool. And then I had my French class. Oy, French class... I was supposed to do my French Group Oral today, but thank goodness the lady from the 'evaluation' committee came in to save the day! The last few minutes of the class (ok, not a few, like 20 minutes, so it's a long enough of a time to save the day!) we had to fill in this evaluation thing on our teacher. She's a cool teacher, and makes French Class fun, so of course I gave her a good review. But I was not ready to do my oral presentation today. I had it all prepared and all, but I didnt memorize it yet... Anyhow, this way I have til Thursday to 'memorize' it. So that's ok... but I have so much else to do for school, that's the least of my worries! I cant wait til the 2.5 weeks of school is over so that I can finally relax... That would be nice. Soon, soon...

After school, I made my way home. I handed in my film at the photo place from my sister's birthday bash this past weekend and some other rolls that I am dying to get developed. (I don't develop my colour film myself, only my black and white photos). I can't wait to get those back on Thursday morning... I have so much to write on for my creative writing portfolio that's due next Thursday (Nov. 30th) but now I totally have writers block and don't know what to write. I am stuck for ideas... If you have any, please feel free to suggest! Honestly, I am totally up for suggestions!

$I went to walmart this evening and stocked up on tons of film. Now I don't have to worry about getting film for ages. I got 12 rolls of film!! They came in packs of 6, 4 of the 400 asa film and 2 of the 800 asa film in each pack, kind of as a bonus. Not as if this means anything to you does it? Enless you're into photography, I guess?! So that was my typical day. And my thoughts on my day.. I think that's all for now...

My Boyfriend's Ex-girlfriend

I wrote this whole long thing and then my computer crashed. I hate when that happens...

So now I am rebooted and it's 12:20 am. Where to restart typing? I went to see the movie bounce with my boyfriend this past Friday night. That's the movie with Ben Affleck and Gwenyth Paltrow. It was a not bad movie. Anyhow, my boyfriend mentioned to me that his ex-girlfriend was in the crowd watching the movie as well. Anyhow, on our way out, his ex walked over to us and said hi. He wouldn't introduce me to her. They went out for almost 7 months back in 1997 and she even lives on my street. Not too far from me either... I know her mother, but I have never met her. I am totally not mad or upset or anything. It was just bothering me the way he was acting; all macho, and showing me off, but in the nonchalant way because he didn’t introduce me to her. I don’t know why this is on my mind. I am so not even worried. We’ve been together now for almost 8 months and I couldn’t be any happier. He is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I need to come up with a name to call him online, as I don't think he'd appreciate me using his real name. But I don't know which nickname or pet name (hee hee) to use, so I am going to have to sleep on it and let you know sometime soon.... I don’t even know why things like that are bothering me.... his ex girlfriend.. And she's not even pretty!! That made me feel better as well. If she were hot and whatnot, that would have ruined my evening... I don’t know what to make of this. I shouldn’t be mad, should I? Anyhow, onto another note...

2.5 weeks left until schools over. I am sooo stressed. I can’t wait to relax over winter break and indulge in artistic things. That’s my therapy. My only resolution to my stress. Photography, painting, scrapbooking, writing, reading... that sort of thing. I can’t wait to catch up on my black and white developing over winter break from school. I have some overdue rolls that I need to be developed. I love working in my darkroom all day long. I can be in there for hours. I haven’t been in there in a while because I haven’t had time with school.

I finally finished reading the book Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. I had only like 20 pages left to read or something like that, but I managed to get that done today. I am sooooooooo frustrated with my teacher it's unbelievable. I thank goodness that there are only 5 classes left for that course. I don’t know how I would handle anymore. It's the only class I am dreading right now, and I absolutely detest it. Nothing I can do now anyhow. I don’t think the teacher likes me very much. Anyhow, more to come tomorrow.

I have to get to bed and I want to catch up on some shows that I have taped over the past week/weekend. I hate commercials and am never home, so I result in taping. That way I can fast forward commercials. Commercials are my biggest pet peeve...