Sunday, February 11, 2007

February 11 of 28

As promised, an updated picture of my knitting progress. As you can see, both our socks (married socks I've called them), are past the turning of the heel, and well into the start of the foot part. Oh, progress is coming along!

This morning I went to my very first Yoga class ever. It was with the same teacher that I take my post-natal Aqua class with, and I really like her and her method of teaching. She's great. The class was good, and yet, being the easiest class offered at my gym, I found a lot of the moves hard. It's probably because a) I'm out of shape and b) I've never done Yoga before, so I wasn't really 100% sure what I was doing! I do plan on trying to attend this class regularly. I like 11 am Yoga on a Sunday morning. The position I find the hardest - I think it's called Downward Dog. Or Down Dog. Or something Dog. LOL.

And now... with my new Yoga likings, I want to knit a bag for my Yoga Mat. I know there are patterns out there - I just have to decide what yarn I want to use for it! That'll be on my list to knit next!

Something I found really interesting today, when starting my Micronor:

I kid you not - in the area I've circled in red, it reads: " For Safer Sex, Comdom Comparment Provided." I chuckled out loud, really hard, and yeah, it fits a condom. This really made me laugh. I don't even know why I find this soooo amusing?? It's the little things in life that make me laugh.

So, in a mini-series of photos entitled "The Bibs My Son Wears"... (I'll be showing off his bibs with Sean modeling them - why not?!) I was snapping away, to discover Sean being a bad bad bad boy again:


Notice anything in the above photo? My lovely son has taken to being foul again! I'm going to have to teach him that the middle finger is NOT for usage like that! I swear - I DID NOT teach him this!

Today I love and I'm going to find one for Sean (gotta get my hands on one, and no ebay does not have them - I've already checked!):

I saw one in a store on Thursday, however, they only had ones with a pink border around the bib, and there is NO WAY I'm putting my son in pink... No thank you.

So, I'm still struggling with the breastfeeding. Why does it have to be this hard for me? Why can't it be easy? Why couldn't it have just come naturally?? Why did Sean not have the ability to latch? Why does it hurt every time I try to breastfeed? The nipple shield hurts, and Sean refuses to take the breast now. He'll go for a bit with the shield, but then when I remove it like the instructions suggest, to get the baby onto the breast - he spits it out (literally) and shakes his head as if he were shaking he his "NO", and get frustrated and angry. It's very sad and upsetting. I think he's too used to the bottle. I'm not sure what to do! I want to continue giving him breastmilk, but pumping all the time is just rediculous! And today, I've just gotten really sore on my left side. To the point of actual PAIN. I've been taking advil all day, and even icing it with some frozen gel packs. I don't know what else to do? I've looked in books to see what to do. I'm not sure if it's engorgement or a blocked milk duct. I am not sure what the difference is, and I can't tell from reading up on it. I'm swollen on one side, and emptying it just doesn't do anything either. I'm just sore, like I've never been sore before. Even a long hot shower didn't do anything. I'm running out of ideas, and the pain just won't go away. Even Yoga this morning was painful, because even though I pumped a bottle for Sean while I was at Yoga, 15 minutes into a 1 hour and 10 minute class - I'm in pain again - so I bit my tongue and held in the pain during the class - which is another reason why the class was hard today.

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day. I'm hoping to keep giving Sean as much breastmilk as possible for as long as I can. I've lasted over 6 weeks now, can't it just get any easier?? Why won't Sean nurse properly? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve such a struggle? I am not against Formula - he's been getting formula now for half his feedings in a given day, but I perfer breastmilk for what formula can't give a baby; all those nutrients and good stuff that formula just doesn't have...

Tomorrow's a new day.


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I'm a litte bit behind on my email responses. I've been trying to catch up - but if I owe you an email of substational response, I'll be getting to it shortly! I promise!

11 comments:

Kristin said...

Oh! the nipple shield, I know it well. Here is what I have to say about breastfeeding- It can be brutal and you must hang in. It hurt me for almost 3 months and it took that long to totally get rid of the shield. I refuse to use bottles and formula and I didn't pump but otherwise it was pretty much the same for me, advil all day.
Try not to stress about the shield, eventually it will go and if it is the only way breastfeeding works for you guys, go with it.
Try to get Sean to breast as often as possible and have lots of skin to skin, bath together, even nap and sleep with him if you can. The closer you are to him the more your body will respond to his cues and such.
Hang in and it will get easier. I don't know why nobody says how hard it can be!!

Barb said...

the socks look great :) I'm sorry your having such a hard time nursing, it's very frustrating, maybe give Health Link a call (is that what's it's called down there?) and talk too a nurse about the pain, it may be a blocked duct, do hot showers help any? I find they did a little :)

mommaofone_07 said...

For some strange reason, my other mommaofone name isn't working anymore...Anyway, so sorry to hear about the breastfeeding. Be proud of yourself that you lasted 6 weeks...some people (myself included) don't last that long. Also, you should be very proud of yourself because you didn't give up and have tried numerous options for the breastfeeding to work. I think you should check with the doctor about your breast pain, is it possible that you have mastitis?

Summer Engh said...

I agree. Go see the doctor about your breast pain and go talk to a health nurse to see what your options are. I know a couple of people who tried breastfeeding and it didn't work for them, so they went to bottle feeding. But if you want to continue breastfeed, keep it up and maybe Sean will get it. Good luck.

Maggie said...

We started out the same as you did...since Oliver was early he didn't latch AT ALL. Eventually after LOTS of practice for both of us he started to catch on. If the nipple shield works, I'd say just use it and don't take it off like the instructions say. Also, try feeding him a little bit from a bottle first and see if he does better.

The socks look great! I love those colors.

Yoga is pretty hard, but very good for you. It gets easier after you do it for a while.

halloweenlover said...

It does stink that it has been so hard, it seems so unfair. I hope that calling someone will help a bit. I've had to call our lactation consultant a few times and it has always helped, so hopefully it will get better. You are doing a wonderful job, keep reminding yourself of that! He is growing soooo well and he looks gorgeous in his pictures! He is a sweetiepea!

Hugs to you two.

Jenny said...

I am sorry that the bf'ing is so challenging. I think it is great that you have done it so far with all the challenges.

Drea said...

if its clogged ducts you should be able to feel hard lumps around the nipple. they hurt really bad... massage them and ude warm damp towels to help.
i know how you feel.. i went through all this twice.. it'll get better

Drea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lainehmann said...

Hey sweetie!
Sorry I've been out of touch. John was out of town and I was working on a big scrapbook contest entry. I've been thinking about you -- and then I got the nicest bday card from you today! Thanks!!
Sean looks heavenly. Sorry the b'feeding has been tough. Stick with it if you feel it's necessary, but don't feel like you HAVE to or that you are a bad mom if you just can't do it. Plenty of people don't. I know ideally you want to, but give yourself a break, too!
Love you!
And the socks look great. Glad you are getting some knitting time in.
xoxoxoxxo
Lain

mommaofone_07 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.