Monday, December 29, 2008

december twenty-nine

This morning I had some errands to run, and one of them was to go to Zellers to do a return and pick up a few things that I needed. Of course, I didn't end up getting any of the items I needed, as they didn't have the shampoo I was looking for, but I ended up getting Jamie that hair gel we couldn't find anywhere by dippity-do for .01 cent. Yep, that was the deal of the day. It scanned into the computer at 1 cent. I'm not complaining. I think it was supposed to be part of one of those "teen" packs that have shampoo, tooth brush, hand cream, shaving cream and hair gel. Sometimes it comes with gum, or Fisherman's Friend. What I'm assuming happened was someone took apart the kit and put the items back on the shelf. Usually when you buy kits like that, there are black lines in permanent marker throughout the barcode, as it's supposed to be part of a kit, and not sold seperately. Anyhow, I figured that I'd try my luck, to see if they'd let me purchase the hair gel seperately, after all, I did find it on the shelves of the store, and low and behold, it scanned in. For one cent. Since I was going to Zellers, I called Jenn to see if she was home as I had Jakob's Chanukah/Christmas present to drop off and it turns out that she was stuck at home because of something happening to her car, so I asked her if she needed anything at Zellers, and picked her up and took her there.

After lunch I headed to playgroup. It was small today with moms or babies being sick or in Florida, so it was just 4 of us mommies with 4 babies. That's okay, it was nice just us. It was more chill and relaxed. Actually, there was 4 mommies, 4 babies and 1 3&half year old. (Since her older daughter didn't have daycare as it was closed for the holidays).

This evening we had my dad's work Christmas party (at an alright Chinese Food Restaurant, where it's held every year). I only went because a) my husband works there b) my sister works there c) my brother works there d) my mom was going e) I felt like going (I dont work there anymore, though I did for the longest time). Every year my dad does a raffle, (computer) suppliers donate prizes and whatever is raised, my dad matches and donates it to the Montreal Children's Hospital. Anyhow, this year, Jamie & I won a digital picture frame (it's pretty cool) and a video card. I also had won a 50$ gift certificate to the store, but why do I need a gift certificate to a store that my father owns and my husband is a franchisee of? So we put that gift certificate back into the draw for someone else to win. We don't really have use for a video card either, so Jamie's going to put it into stock at his store (my hubby is also a franchisee in my father's company, as well as works for my dad in the head office) and bring home something else for us a little more useful. I'm not even sure what that would be...

Mack has started babbling, and for the first time today we heard an actual....

you guessed it....

"dada".......

So that's 2 for 2. Jamie's had both kids say DADA first.

We sat down just before to watch Big Bang Theory, as we were told it was a new episode tonight, but no. It's a repeat. So I'm going to go leave you with this cute thing (I don't even know what to call it) and crash. I'm beat.

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POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays an d no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

FOOTNOTE “THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

6 comments:

Sophie said...

Hahahaha ! I love your job description :)

Happy New Year to you too !

Nell said...

Dada is actually easier to say for babies than mama. So don't feel too bad about it. ;)

deal of the day said...

lol funny job description.

g-girl said...

1 cent for dippity do?? that's amazing! oh, can i tell you I was watching some movie and they had a zellers! I thought of you. :) It was a holiday movie..i think on abcfamily and it was set in canada.

dawn said...

Both my boys said Dada too.

Tara said...

Wow, I wish I'd read that job description BEFORE having 2 kids! LOL!