Monday, October 23, 2006

Baking my Fears Away

I had to sleep in today. There is no setting an alarm clock anymore. That just doesn't work. Snooze gets hit about a hundred times. It's just too damn impossible to get out of bed, I guess it only makes sense, because I can't fall asleep at night, so I'm up late, and so I can't get up in the morning.

Fear. Fear has been bothering me lately. And I know that our son's birth will be such a joyous occasion, and one of the happiest days of my life. I look forward to having my body back and not being in so much constant pain, discomfort and irritated. I'd be lying, though, if I said I'm not scared shitless. That I am. Scared shitless. Scared of contractions and scared of pain. Scared of hospitals and nurses and doctors that aren't my own, if my doctor is not on duty. I can see it now - the birth of any future children of mine, will be a breeze - since I'll have experienced the first one. But going into this blind - I'm scared shitless. And watching A Baby Story on TLC isn't really helping either.

I forgot to take a Belly shot on 29 weeks (last Thursday). I was having a depressing day, and didn't get out of the day before's pj's - so I took a picture today, upon remembering that I wanted to do weekly belly shots on Thursday. Here is me today, 29w4d and wet hair from Prenatal Aqua.

So, to distract myself from my fears (seems like they're a constant thought in my head), I decided to bake.... and bake...

First I started off with muffins, blueberry of course:

And then finished it off with some chocolate chip cookies. I think the non-stick spray stuff I used, what is it called, Pam (?), burned the bottom of my cookies... but they're not badly burned, so that's a good thing. A light crisp!

I wanted to show the scarf I'm working on - for myself. I have finished the deep red part, and now I'm working on the deep chocolate brown middle section. (Orange will be at the end). Nice fall colors!

I also wanted to show off the fun sparkly knitting needles I'm using. Boy are they just fun! I'll post another picture when I'm done knitting the scarf.

Speaking of prenatal aqua, I'm really enjoying my time in that class. Today it was just 3 of us, one girl that I met last week who is due a month after me, and another girl, my first time meeting her, she's 36 weeks pregnant. And I thought my belly was big! I can't even imagine my belly getting to that size in just a few short weeks! I really enjoy going and learning what other girls are going through and experiencing. And guess, what? The girl who is due the month after me, had the exact same experience in the crib shop near my house. The guy refused to speak to her in English and so she walked out, and he lost yet another sale. She ended up going to the place where I got the crib, and she hasn't bought anything yet, but she'll probably go back to the same place where Sean's crib is from. I can't believe this guy. Rude as all hell! He's losing out on business, what can I say? His loss. Not mine. Plus, I'm getting better service at this other place, so I'm happy.

Nothing much else is going on around here. Tonight, I'm going to TRY and get to bed at a decent time. Tomorrow I'm getting my eyebrows waxed - I'm overdue, and I feel that I'll feel like a whole new person after getting them waxed tomorrow. I've never been so excited about getting my eyebrows waxed before! I feel like it will just rejuvenate me. It's something I need. Tomorrow I also plan on making some meat sauce - that will take about 3 hours to make, so I will have to set my mind to it - and do it!! Also - some laundry to finish, both for us and for the baby. I want to make sure that all the stuff in the house is washed before the two baby showers this weekend and next. This way, I can then concentrate on washing new stuff.

Alright, I am posting and then shutting down my computer for the night. I must get back on track for sleeping. I can't keep going to bed at 3 am or so... it's killing me! I will go to sleep early, even if it kills me!

1 comment:

jeloca said...

Don't worry about the delivery! Not that I'm an expert, but from what "those in the know" tell me, it is a very short time before you forget about the pain and/or discomfort and bask in your new-found mommydom. So look forward to the end result instead!